The Cultural Gap
by TMI Fairy
Summary: Everybody lives! post BofA Au. Everybody marries - fem!Baginshield, Kiliel and Fili too. Gandalf had imposed a young woman with mysterious background on the Company. Beautiful yet mistrusted, yet her skills, kindness and compassion allow the Company to surive the Quest across Middle Earth. And captured the heart of the Blond Prince of Durin who turned to wax in her oblivious hands.


Once the wounds from the battle of the Five Armies had healed, the time had come for life changing events, for the official binding of souls intertwined by Fate and Love.

And thus Tauriel of the Mirkwood took to husband Kili of the Lonely Mountain, Thorin "Oakenshield" Thrainsson wed Bramble "Burglar" Baggins of the Shire, and Fili took to wife Rivka Salomonovitch.

Rivka was that maiden of murky background which Gandalf had added to the Company against Thorin's vehement opposition. Her fussiness over food and shirking duties every seventh day did not help her integrate either. Mistrusted for her mysterious past and for being a girl, time after time the "takes no shit from nobody" yet modest and demure maiden saved the Company through her knowledge of healing lore, skill at arms and knowledge of uplifting songs, a song from her homeland - Havah Nagilah - quickly becoming the group's favourite.

After a wedding ceremony where she wore oh so cute garments and had lots of jewels on, and Fili looked good (and wore lots of jewels too) just as well, they had a wedding party which outshone all other thanks to the witty combination of traditions of both groom and bride.

The next morning Fili stretched in bed. He felt some new muscles and was sore in unexpected places, yet he glowed with marital bliss. Just like in their everyday contacts, their – numerous – couplings had been harmonious, with each trying to pleasure the other, the lack of skill on both sides notwithstanding. And her HAIR! Just as he had lusted for her curves, since the day Rivka had saved them from the Trolls he had wished to see her hair in all their glory. And this night he finally had enjoyed the cascade of molten darkness. He had run his hands through their length, from the head to the hips, he had kissed their sweet scent of whatever floral shampoo she had used, he had touched their softness ... He got up in search of his wife, to shamelessly enjoy her tresses again.

Meanwhile Rivka, seated at her vanity in her slightly torn nightshift (Fili was impatient), also was smiling decorously at herself. From what her married friends had whispered at hen parties her wedding night was in the Top 10! Or the Bestest Evah! There had been no pain – unlike the wedding night horror stories her other friends had told – but pleasure. She was not sure whether to feel guilty about the pleasure she had felt – was it proper? Did it make her a wanton? With a few deft moves of a razor - she had been practicing for months - Rivka completed the Ultimate Gift a newly wed wife gave to God and Husband and examined her new, married woman look. Not so bad looking, Rivka thought, and turned to the new headwear she had ordered even before His proposal; acting on the very hopes that he shared her feelings. Pressing them to her slightly sore breasts (Fili had been passionate with hands, mouth and teeth) she sighed with happiness. She wondered which wig Fili would prefer?

No! NO! At the site of his wife of less than a day Fili felt his knees fail him and he dropped to the floor, to all fours, supporting himself by his knuckles and looking like one of the beasts said to live in the forests of Furthest Harad. No. His mind was a blank. Women were incomprehensible in general but he had NO IDEA what he had done to make Rivka repudiate him as Husband and declare him Wife Beater of Vilest Character Possible. Was the fourth time too much, and her groans were of pain not of passion? Had ... had he been** so** pathetically inadequate? No matter ...

By shaving her head she had made the Last Cry, the last step a woman could take against an Evil!Husband. There was not much further beyond the cutting of one's hair a woman could go – only slitting her throat was left. Fili was now an Outcast and had time until sunset to leave Erebor or be stoned for Crimes against Family. Prince or no Prince, the Law was Law.

* * *

AN:

There are cultures where women shave their heads and wear wigs after marriage. Interested? Goggle.


End file.
